


Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

by nilshki



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 17:41:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22467289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nilshki/pseuds/nilshki
Summary: Buck is a little sad after a family vacation with the Diaz boys.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 32
Kudos: 303





	Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Short little thing I wrote on the way home from my vacation.  
> Huge HUGE thanks to [Ale](https://archiveofourown.org/users/diazevan/pseuds/diazevan) both for the prompt and talking me through writing the second half when I was stuck.  
> Title from "Vacation" by The Go-Go's.  
> Enjoy!

Buck always hated the end of vacations. He loved his job, and a lot of the time when he was on a trip, he missed it, even if he was doing other fun things. He would miss his bed, his apartment, his friends, work. He would sometimes even wish for the trip to be over. But on the way home, he would always feel sad. 

This time it was worse than usual. Eddie had invited him to visit his parents in El Paso with him and Chris. Buck had jumped on the opportunity to spend time with the Diaz boys. He loved Christopher, almost too much for a kid who wasn’t technically his. And he loved Eddie, though he was trying to keep that one a secret. He didn’t want to fuck up their friendship or risk what he had with Chris. Those boys were too important. 

So he’d gone as a friend, only a friend. And he’s had an amazing time. 

Eddie’s family was wonderful. His sisters and brothers-in-law and nieces and nephews. His parents. Buck never had a big family, it had mainly been just him and Maddie. So it was exhausting and overwhelming and _amazing_ to be around the Diazs. 

“Why’d you move away?” he’d asked Eddie one day.

“It was a little suffocating. I love my family, so much. But I’m the baby, and sometimes they still treat me like it. I needed to make my own way in the world. For me, and for Chris. He deserves a dad who at least tries to make something of himself.”

That had surprised Buck. He knew Eddie had insecurities. He just hadn’t realized how deep the need to measure up ran through his best friend. 

It only made him love him more. He wanted to show Eddie, every day, that he only needed to be who he was. They all loved him for that alone - he didn’t need to be more. 

So Buck was a little pensive, a little melancholy, on their flight home. A little restless too. He’d spent a week as part of the Diaz family, and it had felt so real. He and Eddie were as touchy as usual, and he and Eddie and Chris had hung out nearly all of the time.

Now they were going home. Buck was going to a different home than Eddie and Chris. And that killed him, because for a week when they said “let’s go home," it was to the same house. And now it wasn’t. He hated it. 

He wanted _everything_ with them. Dinners and breakfasts and movies on the couch. The fights, the tears, the jokes and the laughter. He wanted it all for the rest of his life. 

Eddie would eventually move on from Shannon, and Buck would lose the small part of it that he did have. He would lose his place in the family, because he was currently occupying a space he had no real right to. But he couldn’t drag himself away. He’s stay for as long as Eddie would let him. 

He loved them too much not to. 

“Hey, Buck, are you okay?” 

Eddie’s voice next to him breaks him out of his thoughts. Christopher had the window seat, and Buck had claimed “long legs” to get the aisle seat, so Eddie is stuck between them. They’d teased him about it earlier, and Eddie had replied “no place I’d rather be.” Which. Had done things to buck’s heart. 

He realizes he is jiggling his leg up and down and immediately stops. He forces a smile at Eddie. 

“Yeah man, just a little restless. A little sad vacation is over. We’ll be home soon, I’ll be okay.”

Eddie looks him in the eyes like he can see right through his facade. 

“I’m your best friend. That’s part of it, but not all. What’s up?”

Buck sighed. They knew each other too well. 

“Not on the plane, Eddie. Leave it, for now?” Maybe Eddie would forget about it by the time they got home. 

Eddie nodded and patted Buck’s hand on the armrest. Buck’s heart swooped. 

“Don’t think you’re getting out of this conversation though.”

Buck rolled his eyes but his chest tightened with anxiety. “Wouldn’t dream of it,” he replied. 

  
  
  


***  
It’s dark outside already when they’ve picked up their luggage from the baggage claim and walked outside to the taxi stand, and Buck is exhausted. 

Eddie comes up and slaps him lightly on the shoulder, holding Christopher’s hand with his other. “Alright, I’m beat. Let’s go home.”

Buck nods. “I’ll see you tomorrow at work.” And Eddie looks at him strangely. 

“No, Buck, I meant...let’s all go home. To the house. Together?” 

And Buck’s heart breaks. Because he wants that, so badly, but not this way. Not as Eddie’s friend. He’s too tired to pretend tonight. 

“Eddie, I’m really tired, I want to go home, shower, get into my bed.’

Eddie’s face shows his hurt. “Is this about whatever was bothering you on the plane? I want to talk to you, I want you to come over so we can talk.”

“I don’t want to talk tonight Eddie, okay? I just want to go home.”

And Eddie’s expression turns hard. “Hey Chris, can you go sit on the bench right here and play on your phone? Buck and I need to have a conversation.”

Buck rolls his eyes. “We don’t need to do this right now Eddie. Seriously, I’m _fine_ , I’m just _exhausted_.”

“Why are you so tired Buck? We had a pretty relaxing vacation to my memory. Were you not comfortable at my parent’s house? Did you not enjoy the trip?” The words hurt Buck to hear, the insecurities in Eddie’s voice are plain as day. 

“That’s not it Eddie. It was an amazing trip, I had so much fun. I don’t know why, it’s just been a long day, okay?”

“That’s not it, Buck, you’re hiding something from me and it’s worrying me!”

Buck can’t do this anymore. 

“I’m _exhausted_ , Eddie, because I constantly have to hide what I feel for you and it’s killing me!”

“What do you feel for me, Buck. Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?”

“What, no, Eddie! I’m in love with you!”

And if Buck wasn’t in so much pain, he’d be smug about the shocked look on Eddie’s face.

“You...what?”

Buck sighs. “I love you, Eddie. You and Chris, you’re my family, almost my whole world. I want to spend every day of my life with you but I know I can’t. This vacation showed me what I can’t have and that hurts. But don’t worry, I’m not going to jeopardize our friendship. I can be normal around you, I promise. I just need to be alone tonight, okay?”

Buck is almost crying but holds back, turning to try and find a cab. But Eddie grabs his arm and turns him around. Buck only has a moment to realize Eddie has tears in his eyes too before a hand reaches up and pulls his face down a bit. 

And then Eddie is kissing him. 

Buck stops breathing, stops thinking, and just feels. He can only feel Eddie, his hands on Buck’s face and hip, his lips moving over Buck’s. It’s the best thing Buck has felt, maybe ever. 

When Eddie pulls away they are both breathing hard. Buck licks his lips. 

“God, Evan, you can’t do that, we’re in public.”

“What?” He’s still dazed from the kiss, he doesn’t know what Eddie's is talking about. 

“Eddie...Eddie what was that?”

Eddie smirks. “Isn’t it obvious? I love you too, Evan Buckley. I want forever with you.”

“Finally,” says a voice from beside them. They laugh as Christopher comes up to hug them both. 

“I think Chimney won the bet,” he adds.

**Author's Note:**

> If you listen carefully [Ale](https://archiveofourown.org/users/diazevan/pseuds/diazevan) says you can hear her screaming throughout this fic. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


End file.
